Sweet, or Kind of Creepy?

http://youtu.be/GiOJuIPl8vE

I gotta go with “kind of creepy.” I think his intentions are innocent and I think it is great he is spending time with his daughter, but framing it as an psuedo-romantic “date” (which is what he did with the dressing up, etc.) is not healthy. Children should not relate to their father like that. Someone pointed out that had this been a boy, he would have taken him to the ballpark. Why can’t he relate to his daughter the same way: As his child? Why does it have to have an (admittedly fake) romantic aspect?

Someone also pointed out that if he had framed a visit with his son this way, people would be screaming “pedophilia.”

If he wants to teach his daughter how women should be treated, then he needs to treat the women in his life with respect everyday. She will absorb that and expect to be treated with respect by men as adult as her father treated her mother. She will also know that she can have more than romantic relationships with men, and the ones that she does have romantic relationships with do not have to take a parental role in her life. Which is a danger:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/peggy-drexler/the-dark-side-of-being-da_b_1619245.html

And she won’t mistake wine and roses for real respect. We all know that dates, especially in the beginning, are not necessarily indicative of someone character’s and while many people are genuinely nice, many people are only nice as a means to an end. This is not going to teach her the self respect to walk away from bad people and relationships.

Again, I think it’s great he is spending time with his kid. I think this is innocent. I think he loves his child. I just think this was a mistake that is hopefully not indicative of a framework of their entire relationship.

*What is amusing is many of the people claiming this is a great way for a father to teach his daughter how men should “respect” her engage in personal attacks, some of them quite vicious, on people that disagree with them. It seems some people’s notion of “respect” is quite warped.

 

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3 thoughts on “Sweet, or Kind of Creepy?

  1. I’m ambivalent about this. It’s sweet but very gendered and age-inappropriate. Why is a girl barely more than a toddler being introduced to the concept of dating? Why is it never a mum going on a date with her son? Is it because we don’t expect boys to learn from a young age how to appeal to the other sex? Yeah, the more I think about this the more problems I have with it.

  2. (Hey Kip, just passing through your blog. Didn’t know you were actively blogging now! )

    This is creepy as hell. It reminds me of those godawful Purity Balls, though not as extreme.

    I love this line: “And she won’t mistake wine and roses for real respect. ”

    SO true. I had a guy ask me if I thought he treated me with respect. We only started casually dating for two weeks. I said, “Yeah, I think you do,” even though I was thinking that I barely knew him and just because he took me out for dinners and movies and opened the door for me didn’t mean he “respected” me. I mean, who knew what he really thought of me. It was an odd question he asked, but he also had a bad case of Nice Guy Syndrome. Ugh.

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