When they are in that vulnerable time, words matter even more.
In fact, they always do. I have been constantly told I am “not feminine” because I am a geek, like action movies, am assertive, don’t spend lots of money on clothes and hate wearing make-up. Fashion and romance have been the standard of feminity for a long time, but even in ancient times there were women who defied that. Liking sports and science doesn’t make a woman any less feminine. It just means it’s time society redefined what “feminine” means.