He Chose…Poorly

So not only did the Governor of Maine say, “Apologize for what? I never said that.” to Stephen King…

…He said that if King is so mad, he can just put him in one of his novels.

Suggestions of how LePage should appear in King’s next novel have been flying around the internet.

“Cross-dressing pedophile goat rapist” is my favorite so far.

(Not meaning to be offensive to Trans community, only putting LePage in what would be for his Tea Bagger, conservative, Trans-bashing ass in the most embarrassing position possible.)

But how should he die?

Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel. ~ Mark Twain

Native Mainers Don’t Say Much, But….

…when someone pisses us off that much, you will get, with both barrels, dry rational derision.

Especially if you happen to go after one of her beloved sons, who also happens to be an author:

Teabagger Gov. LePage Goes After Stephen King, King Responds Brilliantly.

When I was growing up, King lived over in Lovell. As a kid we were raised on the school playground on “Stephen King’s baby sitter” stories.

“Stephen King’s babysitter found this gruesome thing is his attic…Stephen King’s babysitter found that gruesome thing in his basement.”

But he is actually an extremely cool guy.

If you are a writer, his On Writing is indispensable. No vague uplifting flowers and unicorns. This is real nuts n’ bolts advice interspersed with his own life-stories that influenced his writing.

I don’t agree with him on adverbs (the Gods did invent them for a reason), but still, very useful book.

Floatsam and Jetsam

I know I have been promising a post on Israel/Palestine, but frankly the heavy stress of the last two weeks has induced a crash. And when I read back over what I had written, I realized it could all be found here and in post-2000 detail here. Though it does leave off the most recent development of Israel seizing yet another 1,000 acres of land in the West Bank.

At the end of the analysis the resulting conclusion is: “They are both assholes.” Palestine are assholes for electing and supporting Hamas, who simply can’t stop starting deadly shit and are more trouble than they are worth. Israel are assholes because every time they talk about peace they put up another illegal settlement in the West Bank. What pisses me off the most is both Muslims and Isrealis  have offed their own leaders for making peace over Israel’s existence. Because both sides are assholes. The only solution I have at this point is to demand the U.N. rescind Palestine’s non-Member Observer State status until they kick out the terrorist group they have elected to govern them. And for the U.S. to stop sending gobs of military aid to Israel. The whole, “Israel has a right to survive” argument is moot. They are there with the best equipped a military (and that’s beside the fact they have nukes) and the one of the most aggressive intelligence agencies in the planet. No one, outside of the Palestinians (who do not have the ability to drive them out), has made a move to attack Israel in decades. They are not going anywhere. The problem I am having is Israel is using my tax dollar to support their assholery. Up until 2003 (when the top spots were taken by Afghanistan and Iraq for some strange reason), they received far and away more foreign aid than any other country we sent aid to, both in money and military equipment. We bought the bombs they are now taking out entire city blocks with.

So fuck that. I say keep the money, and get the U.K. to keep their money too, and let Israel stand on its own for a while. Maybe they would come to peace negotiations in good faith if they realized that the two Rottweilers that have been standing behind them for 60 years are gone.

And I reiterate, both sides are assholes.

ISIS/ISIL is an extreme form of assholes (but hey, they make the trains run on time) that I agree should be dealt with, hard, and I think NATO, et al. is taking the right approach. If the U.S. wades in there by itself again, we’re just going to destabilize the region and piss the locals off worse than we already have. And as I said before, we should help people escape and let them come to the U.S. (if they want) to live their lives in peace.

So those are my thoughts of the Levant and Middle East.

Other thoughts floating through at random:

~ The Funny, Unusual Things Mainers Say. Some of these are pronunciations, but many are words and phrases you won’t find outside Maine.

Maine has the most difficult accent in the U.S. to replicate. Several friends have heard/read me say this. It is a very difficult accent, the only way I can think to describe it is that it’s kinda like the Boston Southie accent, where ‘You Pahk yeh Cah…” but instead of going through the nose, it comes more from the back of the throat…but not entirely, and slower, dragging out in a certain words along a certain cadence.

Bert and I is a collection of local humorous tall tales collected and told during 1950’s/60’s radio programs by Marshall Dodge with his partner Bob Bryan. (Sadly, a couple of my favorites are not included here.) Ironically, neither was actually a Native, they just spent a lot of time in Maine growing up. This is a slightly exaggerated version of  the accent I grew up surrounded by, especially in my grandparents’ generation. Of course, these days homogenizing force of the media has caused the accent to fade a great deal, though it is still definitely there in in the Natives. Just more subtle.

Tim Sample is another Maine comedian. Maine humor wavers between the pithy commentary/comeback and the drawn out tall tale.

Most actors don’t even try to replicate the accent. As awesome movie it is, no one in Shawshank Redemption sounds like they are from Maine. The one actor who came the closest in any film or TV show I have seen is Jeff Bridges in Gettysburg. And I would say he only got 60% there.

~ Comic Books are the most self-aware art form there is. No parodies comic book tropes, no one slips in more references from within the genre, no one comments on and has the back and forth with the fanbase like comic book writers and artists. Even some of the characters themselves are commentary on the genre. I guess because no one took them seriously for so long, comic book writers and artists never took themselves so seriously that they got snooty about their art form. They could always look at it from an objective viewpoint, while loving it entirely.

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I’ll write more on that later when I talk about this comic, a soft core send up that evolved into a really great story.

~ Since I am in retreat mode, I have been power-watching Attack on Titan on Netflix.

Shorewood Blu-ray Ocard

I’m not a huge fan of Manga or Anime. I have seen a couple I really like (everyone needs to see Perfect Blue)  and a lot that were just “Meh.” I respect the art forms and have enjoyed the influence and fresh stories and tropes they are injecting into the various mediums of the SciFi and Fantasy genres here in the West, but I don’t get into them that much. The uh…almost random OTT emotional outbursts sometimes get to me. It’s hard to get into a story when you just want to tell the hero/heroine to take a Valium, smoke a joint and chill out. (And I am completely open to  someone explaining exactly what is up with that.)  But I had a friend recommend this one to me and it is really good. Most people in the U.S. might find it weird. (It’s Japan after all, the  world’s largest exporter of “weird” since 1960. 😉 ) But conceptually, this is pretty interesting and the plot becomes very compelling. I also have to tip my hat to a show brave enough to play with the pacing as this does, jumping years and the devoting four episodes to a single battle, and making it work. And while being an action based series, it does not ignore the frailties and humanity of the heroes or the human cost of war.

~ I have to start the research for my term paper this weekend.

~ The doctors changed my meds to see if we can stabilize me some more.

~ Several people have been kind enough on FanFiction.Net to favorite me and follow my self-indulgent stories. Stories I have not even looked at in years. I’m almost scared to. But I have one that stalled out that I should finish. Maybe writing would stabilize me better than medication can.

And Now, a Word from Our Sanity…

Some pics from the trip home.

(If these were just mine, I seriously would not care. But some of these are my brother’s. He is a professional photographer, so I’m going to have to be something of a jerk about this: All pictures, copyright members of my family, all rights reserved etc.)

So, day of arrival (I kid you not) taken from the family dock.

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Yeah, the family place (formerly my Grandparents house)  is on a lake. We grew up in the same town (which was just about 1,000 people, let’s put it this way, the local High School covered four towns and had an average graduating class of 90), but our house was back in the woods on 19 acres of pine grove, with another 60 across the road, that I ran around in pretending to be an Indian because Indians are cool.

Cowboys being a rather thin on the ground in New England, Cowboys and Indians wasn’t a big game growing up. It was Indians and Redcoats. French & Indian and Revolutionary Wars left an impact.

My Dad and Grampa used to own one of these.

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Until the Recession in the late 1970’s. As Grampa said, “180 horses is a lot of mouths to feed.” 😦

But it was awesome growing up there and it is still awesome.

The lake itself has Loons (a personal favorite) and I saw a Bald Eagle circling rather low over the neighbor’s beach as if to say, “Why yes, you can go ahead and leave that toddler alone for a moment. They’ll be fiiiine.” I did not get a pic as I did not want to take my eyes off it to run in the house for my camera. I spent a lot of time with the kids swimming, kayaking and jumping & diving off my brother’s sailboat.

We dumped my Mom’s ashes at sea (and yes, there was some blowback that got a fellow passenger in the face. It was just a tiny bit, but so embarrassing)  and took the tour the tour around Casco Bay.

Yeah, it really looks like that

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Where your lobster comes from:

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I can’t believe lobster rolls are 15$ dollars apiece now. I remember getting them at the local sandwich shack for like 3 or 4$

We stopped by the State Park run animal sanctuary/zoo, the last place rescued wild animals end up when they can’t be returned to the wild.

The Moose, a deer designed by a committee.

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This is young male, there was an older one with a full rack lazing back in the woods. And yes, Moose eat bark, among other things.

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A female.

The Eastern Moose (which is what this particular subspecies is) stands six to seven feet high at the shoulder and weighs between 600 to 800 lbs. In short, they are too big to care.

Except when they are not:

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D’aaaawwww! And you can see his tan stockings.

Mountain Lion

Young cougar, just losing his baby spots.

More to follow.

Good night.

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